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on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 07:18:34, Sandy wrote: I started dancing on my 18th birthday (I'm 19 now). People say I am a "nice girl" - I'm shy and always got really good grades in high school. But I need money for college. I dance nude, lap dances, and V.I.P. dances. I've dated two men who are regular patrons of the club. They both dumped me when I wouldn't quit dancing - they said it was wrong to do it and that I was a slut if I kept doing it. I guess I am selling sex - but then aren't they buying it? Aren't you buying sex from the girls in the club where you met the dancer? If her selling sex isn't okay, why is you buying sex okay? Of course you are right when you say that if a dancer is selling sex, then the guys are buying sex. I've always known that and for the once in a while that I go to a club just to have some fun, none of this has ever bothered me. It's that I have totally become hung up on this girl. All of a sudden I'm watching someone I really care about getting intimate with strangers and it makes whatever we have together seem so unimportant and not as special as I want it to be. That's the issue for me. In my head I know she must care about me or why bother seeing me outside the club, but it really upsets me to know she is available for any guy with some cash. Like you, she is also putting herself through college and has told me she needs the money and actually likes the job so why not keep doing it? I'm not going to try to tell her what she can or can't do but I can't help wondering what affect this job has on a woman's psyche. Is it possible for you to actually like and care about guys after being watched and groped all day by strangers? If you met a guy and had something special going with him and you knew your job upset him, would you be willing to walk away from it? Not because he said you had to but because you cared enough about him. I want to hang in there and make this work. Do you think I should just keep getting to know her better and be cool about my feelings until the relationship gets more serious? Nash |